So it happened pretty quickly,
you know how it do,
and nobody really made it a point to notice...
Anyway, the girls were just going wild all of a sudden and Summer all of a sudden got a real, honest-to-god charlie-kind-of-a-sheen, if you take the meaning.
The ballparks were, like, probably how they used to be when baseball actually was America's game. Off-the-chain. Just, like, local ballparks--you know, the county parks, the city parks, the schools gettin in there on the action. It got totally crazy. People were just goin wild over these old ball players in local parks. You know what it was like?
It was like if a really really hip modern kid updated Field of Dreams the way John Leguizamo reimagined Super Mario Bros. in '93. You know, the movie Bros. jump with those hydraulic techboots instead of just pure 8-bit physics.
Just imagine: you're back from college for the summer, the weather is perfect, the nights are warm, the girls are provocatively straddling all the waviest lines of good taste. Back in time for high school graduation. The flophouses. The autoerotic independence.
And then, like a lightning ball, the unexpected--the old ones, the has-beens, the jollies, the drunks, the town professionals, past mayors, party bosses, school photographers, the realtors and bar owners... All these older guys, 40s, 50s, 60s, and then it gets weird and you've got your 70-year-olds out there--all these guys are playing, like, this kind of no-holds-barred, bare-knuckled, like, video-game kind of baseball that nobody's ever seen before. It's just, like, a phenomenon, pure and simple. Towns all across the state and then the nation are seeing it happen.
And the thing fueling this whole thing is like this ultimate CREAM. A totally legit cream compound that all these men are getting from their new local compounding pharmacies, which at the time is the medical industry du jour for workers' comp- and medicaid-related entrepreneurial activity.
That's how we ended up watching these hulks, these massive steroidal old men, just CLOBBERING each other at home base, just literally shaking the air on impact, and the crowds driven hypoxic with glee. Medical science extracting pros from locals. The whole model is turned on its head. Very of its times.
These old guys who haven't experienced this kind of reckless personal sacrifice in pursuit of sporting glory since high school, maybe college. Now they're like really, really huge and moderately invulnerable. We go down to the park on a Saturday night and under the lights we see this, like, almost pro wrestling-level spectacle. These guys, the dads of college kids, maybe divorced, maybe a couple families, maybe bachelors, you know, a whole range--they're outrageously distorted by the cream. Super-powered. You look at that baseball game and you think like you're watching a bunch of Wolverines playing baseball, just really smashing into each other literally all the time, at every conceivable contested moment. Not to mention all the incredible acrobatics and mutant reflexes.
Something to do with stem cells, someone was saying. Whatever it was, it was like some seriously gladiatorial stuff right in the middle of town, and it was quaint almost, in a way, because it was baseball as, like, the vehicle. Not to mention old men, reliving and undoubtedly exceeding past glories.
you know how it do,
and nobody really made it a point to notice...
Anyway, the girls were just going wild all of a sudden and Summer all of a sudden got a real, honest-to-god charlie-kind-of-a-sheen, if you take the meaning.
The ballparks were, like, probably how they used to be when baseball actually was America's game. Off-the-chain. Just, like, local ballparks--you know, the county parks, the city parks, the schools gettin in there on the action. It got totally crazy. People were just goin wild over these old ball players in local parks. You know what it was like?
It was like if a really really hip modern kid updated Field of Dreams the way John Leguizamo reimagined Super Mario Bros. in '93. You know, the movie Bros. jump with those hydraulic techboots instead of just pure 8-bit physics.
Just imagine: you're back from college for the summer, the weather is perfect, the nights are warm, the girls are provocatively straddling all the waviest lines of good taste. Back in time for high school graduation. The flophouses. The autoerotic independence.
And then, like a lightning ball, the unexpected--the old ones, the has-beens, the jollies, the drunks, the town professionals, past mayors, party bosses, school photographers, the realtors and bar owners... All these older guys, 40s, 50s, 60s, and then it gets weird and you've got your 70-year-olds out there--all these guys are playing, like, this kind of no-holds-barred, bare-knuckled, like, video-game kind of baseball that nobody's ever seen before. It's just, like, a phenomenon, pure and simple. Towns all across the state and then the nation are seeing it happen.
And the thing fueling this whole thing is like this ultimate CREAM. A totally legit cream compound that all these men are getting from their new local compounding pharmacies, which at the time is the medical industry du jour for workers' comp- and medicaid-related entrepreneurial activity.
That's how we ended up watching these hulks, these massive steroidal old men, just CLOBBERING each other at home base, just literally shaking the air on impact, and the crowds driven hypoxic with glee. Medical science extracting pros from locals. The whole model is turned on its head. Very of its times.
These old guys who haven't experienced this kind of reckless personal sacrifice in pursuit of sporting glory since high school, maybe college. Now they're like really, really huge and moderately invulnerable. We go down to the park on a Saturday night and under the lights we see this, like, almost pro wrestling-level spectacle. These guys, the dads of college kids, maybe divorced, maybe a couple families, maybe bachelors, you know, a whole range--they're outrageously distorted by the cream. Super-powered. You look at that baseball game and you think like you're watching a bunch of Wolverines playing baseball, just really smashing into each other literally all the time, at every conceivable contested moment. Not to mention all the incredible acrobatics and mutant reflexes.
Something to do with stem cells, someone was saying. Whatever it was, it was like some seriously gladiatorial stuff right in the middle of town, and it was quaint almost, in a way, because it was baseball as, like, the vehicle. Not to mention old men, reliving and undoubtedly exceeding past glories.
